Make It Personal
“Do you have any writing tips?”
I don’t think I heard that question one time in all the years I was doing the MileNerd thing.
But I’ve gotten it multiple times since retiring the blog and typing whatever the hell I feel like once a month.
Man, it’s a tough question…
First, I’m obviously no Ernest Hemingway. On an Ern scale…my brainpower is closer to Ernest Goes To Camp. Or possibly Ernie from Sesame Street. I’m a very low-ranking Ern. But I guess this niche hobby has always had an absurdly poor level of competition. When I was MileNerd-ing for all those years, I wasn’t exactly surrounded by professional writers. Anyone would have looked great compared to those shady twatwaffles who were shitting out their sales brochures disguised as blogs.
Anyone can seem like Charlize Theron if the rest of the room is full of Roseanne Barrs.
But I thought about it recently. Since so many people seem to like what I do with words…maybe I’ve actually picked up some things here along the way. So I’ll try to answer the question as best I can.
Here are the top 5 things I’ve learned about writing over the years:
1. When a writer habitually misspells words (as if it’s a lifestyle choice), people will assume that writer is a dumbass.
Is that opinion always accurate? Probably not.
But showing basic care about spelling does matter. Sure, an occasional typo is normal. That’s not what I’m referring to. There’s plenty of abnormal out there right now. Scan any comment section on the internet and you’ll eventually find the words, “Your an idiot.” If, as a writer, that doesn’t make you want to run into a forest and scream…then it’s possible you’re not much of a writer yet.
Musicians will nerd out with music…tech geeks tend to nerd out with gadgets…and writers always nerd out about language. It’s pretty simple…if you are, in fact, a writer…words REALLY matter.
2. Good writers will put their personalities out there in a vulnerable way.
Comedians often talk about “finding their voice.” And I believe it’s similar for writers. You need to dig out your personality to fill the blank page with life. It took years for me to understand the difference between saying:
(A) Hilton’s devaluation is disappointing.
and
(B) Hilton is now essentially a fax machine. I know it exists in the world, but I have zero use for it.
Obviously, we all have such different personalities. Typically, there’s a correlation between a writer getting “better” and that writer finding their unique voice. Readers want you. Give them that.
3. Trying to impress readers with big words is amateur hour stuff.
Your writing
goal should be connecting to other humans…not proving your intelligence to yourself.
Do – Find ways to make things personal.
Don’t – Use vocabulary as a way of proving your superiority over readers.
Last month, I wrote:
“We ate bologna sandwiches at his house and tandoori chicken at mine”
For me, that’s more effective than writing:
“We shared several extraordinary meals of various cuisines”
Remember…the more personal it is, the more universal it is.
4. Have an opinion about what you’re saying.
Why bother writing words if you don’t give a shit about them?
Embrace the fact that you’re a storyteller. We all are. Even with something as dry as miles and points, you can do better than just reporting facts. Look for little opportunities to paint a picture.
Last month, I wrote:
“He was everything I wasn’t. Confident, handsome, and possibly the most athletic person in the world. He dribbled a basketball like he had Olympic tryouts the next day. His blonde hair bounced gracefully as he drained shot after shot. What was this…a Salon Selectives commercial?”
See how that last sentence is the payoff? Everything before it was a setup to get to that line. So, once I finally get there…the extra detail works so much better than just saying:
“What was this…a shampoo commercial?”
Find those moments of specificity. Don’t overuse them, because your writing still needs to flow. But having those little moments, within a well-written piece, will make people fall in love with your writing. Obviously, do it in a way that’s 100% your own. Allow your voice to come out. If you’re not naturally funny, there are SO MANY different ways to be specific.
5. Be willing to throw stuff out.
I find that good writers can be obsessive about it. You really know when you finally put a perfect sentence together. It sure as hell doesn’t happen often. And, for a writer, that moment feels amazing. You’ve solved a very challenging puzzle.
But…
You’ve got to be honest when something just isn’t working. You can’t be precious about throwing stuff out. I mean, as an overgrown child…I’ve been trying to find a way to land a joke about the number 69 for years. Literally years. But, thankfully, I can usually see when I’m being an idiot. And none of those jokes ever worked…so they all got thrown into the dumpster.
That’s where a lot of your ideas are destined to go.
Other times, you’ll come up with something that you know in your gut has potential…but it isn’t fully there yet.
Here’s an example…
I started scribbling notes about an idea called, “When The Space Aliens Invade” way back in 2011. But I never figured out how to express my thought in a way that lands. So, let’s head into the lab to see why this stayed in the unfinished pile.
When the aliens invade
You’ll finally have something real to worry about
There won’t be any time to fight over politics
We won’t be insecure about brand names
Or the size of our homes
You won’t need more botox in your face
And can stop chasing after dollar bills
Nobody will be bullied because of the color of their skin
Or worried about who’s marrying who
Mothers won’t pressure daughters about weight
Fathers won’t care about sons being manly
Homeless or rich
All sides of the track
We’ll be in it together
Side by side
No time to call each other names
Or to look down our noses
We’ll pick up those who fall
We’ll ask for help
We’ll all be on the same team
Brothers and sisters
Finally
So…when do the aliens invade?
As you can see, there’s a decent half-idea there. The start of something interesting that doesn’t quite work yet. It’s one of many things that I started to write but couldn’t quite figure out. Maybe I’ll figure it out and maybe I won’t. Overall, I think this is what I’ve noticed about writing…
Most people don’t nerd out with it. So, if you actually care enough to spend time in the pursuit of finding your voice…if you actually obsess about how to get your thoughts “just so” in writing…
You are a writer.
And you should probably keep doing it.
Beyond that…if you learn anything else along the way…let me know.
