Translation Machine
Writing every day as MileNerd was a huge part of my life for years. Recently, a friend asked me what it’s like to not do it anymore…
Still kind of strange, to be honest.
There were so many things that were a regular part of my world for a long time…
The thick stack of emails waiting every morning…
The feeling of pride from being the go-to guy people trusted in this hobby…
The fun back-and-forth interactions with “strangers” throughout each day…
And just the warm feeling that came from our unique connection. I loved doing it. You guys loved that I did it. It all felt really…nice.
So, it’s still a bit of an adjustment.
I guess the next logical question is…are there any positives from stopping?
Well, I do interact with a “normal” number of people each day now. So there’s more time for other passions, like one of my all-time favorites…
Observing the strange creatures known as “human beings.”
In fact, I’ve spent the last few weeks as a fly on the wall of Twitter. As a non-fan of social media, I wanted to get a closer look at the people of 2019. Clearly, we think and communicate differently than ever before. So I decided to invent a state-of-the-art machine. I call it…
THE 2019 TRANSLATOR
This remarkable machine has the ability to convert the strange noises people make today…into actual words. So, without further ado, here are some results from The 2019 Translator…
Translation:
It’s 2019 and I won’t be “shamed.”
If you suggest I improve my health…you’ve crossed the line.
Translation:
It’s 2019, so my brain is gradually being sucked into my phone.
Thankfully, yours is too.
Give it another year and you’ll probably consider voting for me in the 2020 election.
Translation:
In 2009, you would have considered this unusual. Now it’s just Tuesday.
(Don’t worry…it’s 2019. You’ll forget this and everything else you read today by the time you fall asleep)
Translation:
In 2019, I can’t even tell the difference between a movie and real life anymore.
Also, I don’t trust men.
Translation:
It’s 2019, so I can’t actually hear anything outside of my own experience.
Also, I don’t trust women.
Translation:
I’m a millionaire in 2019.
Translation:
I’m 2019’s version of royalty.
Translation:
My 2019 brain sees everything as racist.
Translation:
My 2019 brain sees nothing as racist.
Translation:
In 2019, you get to hear my opinions.
(Every day. On everything)
Obviously, there are plenty of smart, interesting, and fun people on Twitter as well. In addition to the mind-numbing stupidity. Really, there’s a whole bunch of everything in 2019. That was my biggest observation. The amount of information we take in has completely changed the way we think. Your brain jumps around like a rabbit on a trampoline. Mine does too.
The other observation was seeing people use social media to strengthen opinions they already have. No minds were being changed about anything. I literally didn’t see a single person budge on anything they felt strongly about. Not just politics. That was a big one, obviously. But I didn’t even see anyone budge when it came to debates about the “best athlete” or “greatest tv show.” Do you think any of the shady bloggers give in when people try to call them out? Not even an inch.
So, I guess social media behavior isn’t that different than real world behavior. But I’m still glad I observed all of that noise. For one big reason…
After watching people interact in such petty ways, I realized we should REALLY appreciate when special individuals cross our path. I mean, if you know someone who truly has the ability to have their mind changed…that’s such a rare person in 2019. Don’t take them for granted.
