Dear Fellow Nerds:
What’s more teary-eyed than a roomful of millennials watching puppy videos on Youtube?
This guy.
(Damn, that made no sense)
Emotions are weird, right? You really can’t plan or prepare for them…they just kind of show up. Man, this last couple of weeks…
Yesterday morning, I even had a voicemail waiting for me. It was someone I’d never spoken to in my life. A man saying something like, “Is this MileNerd? Can you please call me back?”
(After typing that, I realize it would probably be creepy under different circumstances)
But I called him back and it wasn’t creepy AT ALL. Just an incredibly sweet conversation between two people who’d never spoken before. It made two days a little brighter. And there have been quite a few of those conversations over the last few days (granted, this was the only one that happened over the phone). Emotions are a surprise. But, man, there have been a lot of surprises lately.
No big secret…I’ve had strong opinions about the ways people interact over technology. Comment sections, social media, and the whole anonymity thing…no shortage of weird stuff happening there. The “growth” of technology has totally changed the way people communicate.
Here’s a quick story…
My youngest sister is 15 years younger than me. A few years ago, she was out at a restaurant/bar. Teenage years. A normal, somewhat shy boy from school…a kid she never really talked to…was also at the restaurant/bar. They didn’t speak or even look at each other. Hadn’t all year. But he sent her a text message.
It read, “My girlfriend and I are looking to add someone in the bedroom. Would you be interested?”
Let’s be honest…that interaction would have been VERY different without the crutch of technology. Take away the iPhone and here’s how shy teenage boys approach girls at restaurants…
By awkwardly walking over, mumbling something incoherently, and sweating profusely. Eventually, an ill-timed voice crack ruins the moment…
But there’s something about summoning the balls to actually connect as a human being. We grow from it. And hiding behind phones and computers changed the way people relate to each other. We’re able to behave differently than we do when exposed in the real world. If that kid at the restaurant had to actually walk over and speak, VERY different words would have come out of his mouth.
8 years ago, when I decided there wasn’t going to be a comment section here…it was a conscious choice. I wanted to distance myself from the weirdness – the ways that people behave when hiding.
Years later, I’ve learned some big lessons from you guys. Real connections happen over technology too. For example, here’s one of the emails from yesterday…
Paul – I’ve been reading MileNerd this past week with sadness in my heart, knowing that one of the final bastions of honesty in the points world sounds like it’s coming to an end. I’ve particularly enjoyed these last few posts because they include much more of a personal element, and I’m able to get to know you as a person more than you as a blogger.
As I read today’s post, particularly that last section targeted to bloggers, I couldn’t help but feel ashamed. You’re right. You pretty much always have been. I’ve tried to be honest and straightforward for my readers, but damn it if I didn’t have thoughts of greed and other unsavory thoughts in my head at times over the years. Sometimes I acted on them, and looking back I feel shame.
Things have been busy in my normal life and I haven’t prioritized my blog, but I recently brought back Travel Summary. I still don’t write as much as I want to, but I’ll say this: I made a decision to not have any ads or affiliate links, and to not care about traffic, and it feels kind of liberating. Not that I ever chased those things before, but it feels great to just know I can write freely again like I did when I first started when no one found my blog except by accident.
Years ago you mentioned my blog in a few posts. I was and am grateful, because the “Milenerd bump” in traffic was and I’m sure still is a real thing. Then somehow we connected, and I remember you suggested we should meet up since I’m in OC and I believe you were in LA at the time. I regret not following up and doing so. I don’t know much about you, but from what I do know you’re the kind of guy I would want to be friends (or at least acquaintances) with.
If you’re still around SoCal, I’d love to be able to meet up with you for a meal or a coffee. Let me know if you’re interested – it would be an honor to finally meet a person I respect so much.
Again, the point isn’t to pat myself on the bat. I actually wasn’t even saying anything about ads…I was really only talking about being honest. But, here’s my point about that email…
I’ve never met this man. Still, somehow, we’ve made real impacts on each other. He opened himself up to me yesterday in a way that plenty of my “real world” friends never have. We were helpful and supportive of each other. Really, how different is that from a friendship? As much as this can feel like sending words out into the void, relationships are being built.
Aren’t we supposed to be so different and divided these days? Well, that hasn’t been my experience lately. Not with you guys. This week alone, you’ve expressed yourselves, opened up, shared, and even talked about loss. We’ve never met but it sure as hell feels like we’re friends. In a sense, I chose not to have a comment section because I wanted to detach. Your warmth makes that the last thing I want to do 8 years later. And that is a surprise. Thank you for being so willing to connect. And for impacting me in such meaningful ways. I guess, sometimes, we do that without even knowing it’s happening.
