My Twenty-One Resolutions For ‘21
- Stop being wishy-washy. Or maybe not.
- Avoid murderous thoughts when coworkers start each Zoom meeting with:
“So…is everyone wearing pants?”
- Kick ass and take names. And by that I mean…
Quit falling on my ass and forgetting people’s names.
- Fight against laziness.
No matter what, never become the guy who writes “K” in place of “OK.”
- Be more socially active.
(Hug one human this year without screaming, “The plague!”)
- Rember to do a speelcheck before posting anyting.
- Quit being so passive aggressive. Unlike some people I know.
- Ok, THIS is the year I start eating bett…
- Sorry, had to make a quick call.
As I was saying, THIS is the year I start eating better quality cheese.
- Don’t sweat the small stuff.
BUT SERIOUSLY…HOW HARD IS IT TO WRITE “OK” FOR FUCK’S SAKE???
- Find inner peace.
- Never become the guy who puts a random and awkward “LOL” at the end of serious sentences.
- Fully embrace the aging process.
Sure, I’ve reached the tweeze-hair-out-of-my-ears chapter of life. And it’s super depressing. LOL
- At some point in the next few weeks, I think it’s time to stop procrastinating.
- End all of this obsessive thinking! It’s easy. Just do everything in moderation.
But wait, if I do moderation in moderation…doesn’t that mean all the moderation gets cancelled out? Or no? Fuck.
- WHY CAN’T THEY JUST SPELL OUT “OK”??? IT’S A TWO-LETTER WORD!!!
- Find professional help for the inner peace thing.
- Stop the blame game. And hold myself accountable for my problems. Even though it’s all the government’s fault.
- Only spend time on meaningful pursuits. Like February’s post about the world’s Top 10 best cheeses.
- Tone down the sarcasm this year. Yeah, sure, like that’ll happen.
On a serious note, I truly wish you, me, and everybody else a hell of a lot more joy in 2021. We deserve it. Happy new year, nerds!
