Truth Or Consequences
Phillip is a corporate titan. He rules his kingdom from a corner office in the sky.
Imposing square footage? Check.
Floor-to-ceiling windows with a view of the water? Obviously.
Anxious employees rush in and out each day. Sitting nervously on his Italian leather couch. Feeling tiny under all that expensive artwork. Their tough boss always armed with a scowl and a growl. This big man and his big title.
Phillip plays the role to perfection. As he has for decades. The world sees him as a take-charge guy.
Driven.
Ruthless.
He’s nearly 60 years old now. And nobody has a clue that Phillip spent his life pretending. This show of strength. Power. How he wants to be seen. Only a few more years and it’ll be what they see all the way to his last breath.
They’ll never know how afraid he was of being alone.
Won’t see how terrified he was of getting hurt.
Will never realize he felt a million miles away from being a “take-charge guy.”
Phillip has been doing this dance for a very long time. And it’s not just for them.
This story he needs to tell.
–
Heather avoids calling herself an influencer…but loves being one.
First thing she does each morning? A skilled edit of the day’s photos. She’s a phenom with filters. The Leonardo da Vinci of looking good. Her follower count keeps growing. Numbers rising at turbo speed. Heather basks in the warm glow of social media approval. She’s the recipient of envy. An object of desire. No minutes pass without a compliment on her appearance.
Before her morning coffee, Heather sits down to digitally alter her face. Day after day. The images posted with hashtags about self-love. Acceptance. She cultivates her page with such gusto. Driven by something she can’t quite express. Puts a positive word on it. Thinks of it as passion. But beneath the hashtags and flowery language lies truth. Heather is mortified by her impressive looks. She spirals deeper each day. Seeing new flaws and imperfections from an aging face – the stranger who stares back from her mirror.
Heather preaches vulnerability to her followers. Empowerment. Teaching them to put themselves out there. But the thought of actually doing that?
It fills her with panic.
This young woman who alters her face before allowing the world to see it.
–
Rick and Lauren cheer America as the greatest nation on the planet.
It’s far beyond opinion.
This is something they know to be true.
Something they can feel.
All the way down to the depths of their souls.
Berating anyone who disagrees.
…this couple who has never stepped foot in another country.
–
Ray and Stephanie love each other.
For years, they’ve expressed it on a daily basis. Whether in-person, over the phone, or in written form. They see each other as the oxygen they breathe. Stephanie’s friends adore him. Ray’s family is her unofficial fan club.
They might as well be a single word at this point – RayAndStephanie.
Two peas in a pod.
Currently, Stephanie is hiding an emotional affair. And Ray is in a physical one. They stopped being able to communicate years ago. Now speaking from routine and habit rather than from their hearts. Ray knows he loves her. Even while entering another woman’s bed. Stephanie feels increasingly empty inside, but tells herself she’s in love.
Their actions no longer show it.
Their hearts look elsewhere.
But this couple fully believes the words that come from their mouths.
–
Matt writes a daily blog.
Positive feedback pours in. Makes him feel like a Robin Hood of sorts. The generous giver. So, after a while, he starts defining himself as the guy who wants to help people.
Says it over and over again.
And the new identity feels wonderful.
So intoxicating, in fact, that he grows immune to seeing anything else. Blocks out any data that contradicts it. Becoming addicted to his drug of choice – identity.
This is who he “is.”
Matt is eventually unable to see any of the pain he causes. Unwilling to let it in. He’s Robin Hood, after all. How could he ever be the villain of a story when he’s the hero?
Matt grows adept at discarding bitter pills.
Choosing only the ones that are easy to swallow.
He has already decided which story to believe.
–
Juliette never makes waves.
She dresses…and speaks…crisply. Always behaves like a professional. Even when the people around her don’t follow suit. But that’s not for her to judge. And she never does. As a child, Juliette made her parents proud. As an adult, she’s a dependable neighbor, friend, and employee.
Never caused any problems.
Never met a negative performance appraisal.
Forever a good girl.
Based on all her feedback, Juliette is thriving. And the validation fuels her. So she stays perpetually in motion. It’s a trick she learned long ago – to distract herself from the pesky question…
What would happen if she spread her wings?
This makes her uncomfortable. She chooses safety. Over and over again. Locking her personality in a small box. For so long that she can no longer see what’s inside. Might it be a wild spirit? A rebel? Maybe even a creative genius? At this point, there’s no way to tell. The box is now a home. And Juliette hides inside as a prisoner of her own adjectives.
Still “professional” and “dependable.”
A good girl who no longer dreams of being anything more.
–
Really look around.
In every direction. For as far as you can see.
We humans love to think of ourselves as self-aware. But we lie to ourselves to avoid the hardest feelings.
Usually not with bad intentions.
We do this to cope.
And guess what?
You do it too.
(So do I)
See, the only way to live an honest life is by looking at our own dishonesty. It’s just about the hardest thing we can ever do. But it’s sitting right there.
And you really won’t want to see it.
The holiday season includes a lot of rewinding. Memories of fun times from 2024. The money you made. Bright images of the year. Vacations and belly laughs.
My wish for you is to be willing to see more than just what feels good.
To spend a little time with the lies.
Those big ones you tell yourself.
Because a lot more growth comes from there than from your highlight reel.
